Actually this is a piece that i wrote last month. I think it would just fit in perfectly in this blog.
Its almost been a month since i last posted an entry here. I could dish out a number of reasons including the cliched 'creativity block' excuse. But if i did so it would be a lie. The actual reason is that I've been lazy. So lazy that i rarely get off my bed (and its not as if am having a wife and we are banging 24*7). The weather has been gloomy at best and I've been doing nothing but sleep.
So onto the topic now. You must be wondering as to why I would come out of hibernation just to write something on Circus. Well, its not any circus thats the topic of interest here; It is the Great Indian Circus a.k.a Indian Cricket. Actually i wanted to write this piece right after the
Ford fiasco. But ironically am writing this a day after India's so called 'Historic triumph' over SA( in a 3 game tournament played in a pool sized ground against a depleted South African side...just in case you were wondering what all that '
historic triumph' was all about). I know this is not a good time to post something like this considering how fickle the Indian fans can be(They take out their anger on the players when the team lose and when the team manages to win, these fans turn against the critics).
Dont get me wrong. I was as fanatic as any other Indian would be about this game. I used to bunk classes on match days. I used to stay awake and would turn the TV off only after the presentation ceremony. Heck, there was a time when i preferred cricket to porn( and that says a lot!!).
But it all changed when the Indian Team became
Team India and then later
Men in blue. One of the main villains in my romance with cricket has been
Mandira Bedi( not that i got more attracted to her than the game itself...err...that too is a fact.Thanks to those spaghetti blouses she wore). I am not a traditionalist and I do welcome changes. But having someone with absolutely no knowledge about the game host a world cup pre match show wearing a tricolored saree was a bit too much. And her daily sessions with tarots to predict the outcome of games..Oh gimme a break.
Well, the team's inspiring performance in the world cup(o7) was the final nail in the coffin.
At the helm of this circus we've got
Mr.Pawar(the sly stallone like speaking cunt). I still cant understand what a politician has to do with this game? I am no fan of Mr.Dalmiya. But he did run things better.The new board as soon as it took over made a record breaking multi million dollar deal with Nike. Then they went on to make some more deals. Then further more deals(so many deals that the players, the board and the sponsors always end up in a tangle over sponsorship issues whenever a big tournament comes around) . Well, thats pretty much what they do nowadays. All business and NO cricket. Maybe its just that Pawar and co. just misunderstood BCCI to be 'Board of Cunts and Cocks Infesting the game'. If thats the case Mr.Pawar, then you are the man for the job.
Even if cricket is being run badly, we could have had some solace had the players shown some passion and effort on the field. But no. If BCCI has become a franchise then the players have become super models. We have players who run back to the pavilion after every over to....ya you guessed it..to get their hair done properly.(Dont waste your time guessing who. Hes got nostrils so big that even his inflated ego seems minuscule). The senior players are busy backstabbing each other and if time permits the coach also. Stabbing the coach makes all the more sense if the coach happens to be an Australian(could you ask for a better scapegoat).I wonder what the condition of their stabbing device is like now. I mean, they've been doing it for the past decade or so.How it still has the same venom is something that baffles me. I have noticed that the modeling thing has got so much into these cricketers that they mistake the cricket field for the ramp. Have you seen our fielders turning ever so gracefully when a ball passes by them and then jogging and escorting it to the boundary( stupid are those Australians and South Africans who dive around). Have you noticed how some of our players catwalk to take a run( why bother running for a double when you can catwalk for a single?). Then we have the Gods(Cricketing gods that is, not the ones with 23 hands and 32 heads and 2332 temples). If these Gods are not selected, rest assure the selectors and the coach will feel the wrath of the public. Their effigies will be burnt and the crowd will even cheer the vising team and make them feel home.( just ask the South Africans about the Indian hospitality..err...kolkata hospitality rather.They would swear that they wouldn't have got such support even back home in wanderers). And the worst part is that these cricketers are fully aware of this situation and boy don't they make the best use of it or what( and hence the saying' make hay while the sun shines'.)
Sachin tendulkar-THE Indian cricket god recently made a statement that he doesn't have to prove anything to anyone because he has been in the Indian side before he even made it to college , before learning the art of jerking off, before falling in love with a 6 years older, 2 feet taller chick and so on.
Now, this tells me why Indian cricket is in such a sorry state. Once a player establishes himself in the team, he considers his position guaranteed for eternity.
And that brings me to the next problem. Lack of professionalism. The difference between cricket in India and Australia is that in Australia cricket is just another profession(and nobody is running with a pepsi can shouting "ooh aah Australia aah ahh Australia"..btw whats with this "ooh aah"??...perverts!!). There are no demigods. (alright, u can compare Shane warne to Lord Krishna but thats a whole different story). They are professionals who do their job day in day out without any fuss and if they don't perform they will be shown the door.end of story. But here its entirely different. As the popular saying goes 'Cricket is the religion and Sachin is the God'. And that is exactly why the God decided to issue such a statement on not having to prove anything. How many professions are there which allow you to rest on your past laurels.None. The key to success is always the hunger to improve. Which is the one thing that our cricketers lack.
The question is "why is cricket still the most popular game in India"?The answer is simple(NO.Its not because Mandira bedi hosts the pre game show) Its because of the undeniable ability of the BCCI, the players and the media to perform an act called "The great Indian HOPE trick". Yes. Unlike for the Australians or the English lords, Cricket is a game that provides hope for the average Indian. He considers every Indian victory his own. The BCCI, the players and the media know this and they are using this to manipulate the mind of every cricket fan out there. But with the country developing at such a fast rate and with a team full of show ponys, its just a matter of time before this myth is shattered. There will be a time in the near future when people will realize that cricket is just a game and then these players will realize that it is a profession with all the responsibilities that come with any other job.
P.S--Agarkar is one of the few cricketers in the team that I respect. I put that pic just because i found it funny. Lets not even talk about the other guy.
Update: Indian team did
somehow manage to draw the first test against England. Good for em and ofcourse for the sponsors.
Real Madrid could make Cesc Fabregas their number one transfer target for next summer, with president Ramon Calderon still hoping to have all three of his main targets at the Bernabeu within two years.When asked if there was still time to sign the three players he promised during his election campaign - namely Arjen Robben, Fabregas and Kaka - Calderon said: "There's a chance they will all be here by the end of my third year in office."
